My name is Gilbert.
i'm not someone happy
guess whos back! neh, i wasn't really gone,but i decided to invest more time in this blog of mine, i've been going through a emotional rollercoaster recently, so i decided it was time to vent it out on this blog, for those who haven't realise, the handsome on the top picture is me, i lost weight, and gained back some, but i'm still me. =)
my only salvation from army is the frequent meet ups with the friends i made, above is my sispec fren, ah bao, he was in the same section as me in sispec, and now in eti too..
desmond (guy on the right) with weiyang (middle) and kenneth (left), met up with them to watch quarantine.
the past three weeks in eti has been stressful, i have never enjoyed myself, and i was very close to reporting depression, it made me realise how much i wanna stay in infantry. i felt that way because i dun get to listen to my mp3, the place i'm in doesn't allow it, but music is what makes me motivated and i have it in me, without it, i'm just not myself, and i also feel quite lonely in there, there is no one to relate to, all the small cliques in there talk among themselves, so i'm always left alone with my buddy, we do talk sometimes, but most of the times my buddy is quiet.plus, doing tough things for a week, makes me miss my previous life, paddling with my teammates, meeting up with my closest frens, helping them when they are feeling down, and just enjoying what life throws at me, the freedom, where has it gone. since my entry into the current place, i realise i'm missing a big chunk of life, its like a void, seriously, i want to be stronger, or realise whats wrong with the way i'm feeling now. i'm not usually so emotional and depressed. maybe its the thought of not being able to take part in regatta, its true that there are other races, but i wish to take part in all the races available.sighz...
met up with charles in the morning for breakfast, its been sometime since i had a conversation with my paddling buddy, i missed a standard chartered run on sun, gosh. meeting up with him, i realise i have to work hard to keep my fitness in shape, if i'm going to return to the team, i will have to workout a fitness plan.
i've tried telling myself to stay positive, and I WILL!